Forgiving Your Past
by Rainbows28
Summary: Tessa Black moved to Forks, Washington. She doesn't expect much, doesn't want to expect much, but fate and destiny have this interesting knack. They're both great at not giving a damn about what you want. Jasper/OC. Non-Canon.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Okay so this was something that just popped into my head. I own NOTHING but Tessa. Jacob won't be a large character. Neither will most of the Cullen's perhaps later on. Alice and Jasper were never together. Alice has no mate. And Tessa has an interesting past. So should I continue? I need feedback! Enjoy :)**

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I hate hospitals. Like seriously they just bother me. That could have to do with me practically living in one since I was younger. "Tessa Black?" I glance up at the nurse and then stand. She pulls me into a room and I sit on the counter, I play with the hem of my short denim shorts and run a hand down my thigh. The door opened and I glanced up, watching a young pale man walk in.

"Alright Miss Black." He starts out not looking at me. He was pale extremely so with blonde hair and a nice body.

I blink a little confused. He smiled at me and I see the clipboard. "So what brings you to me today?" he asks his shockingly cold hands feeling under my jaw. "I um, don't know the people at the foster home wanted me to check in." I grumble and he frowns before nodding.

"What's your history, it seems pretty long could you give me a summary?"

"Insomnia. Eating disorder. Broken leg. Broken wrist. Leukemia." He watches me patiently, "Um then I was hospitalized from ages five to eight for the cancer, I went into remission and it's been fine since. Eating disorder on and off since I was eleven. Off right now. Um leg and wrist from the car accident when I was ten. Insomnia for as long as I can remember, I don't sleep easy." He nods slowly, his lips pursed.

"Well I'm going to re-set your knee and I'll give you a prescription for the sleeping." I'm not going to use them, but I didn't say anything. He re-sets my knee and I barely feel it. Sitting up he grabs his chart, "I'll send the medication to the pharmacist. And you need to come back for yearly blood work." I nod slowly as we set a date for that.

I run my hands through my hair and jump down. Going to leave, "Ms. Black. I'm Dr. Cullen, by the way." I glance back at him before nodding, "Good for you." I walk out of the room and down the hall away from the hospital. Arriving back I go up to my room and see Mrs. Davis. God I hate this place, two more months and I can move into the apartment.

The next morning I pull on a white lace long sleeve crop top and a pair of high waisted burgundy skinny jeans. My deep brown hair falls down to my waist in big loose curls. I slip on a pair of black lace Toms. Grabbing my keys and bag I walk down the stairs. Glancing at the table of food, suddenly not very hungry. I walk out of the room and house. Getting into my silver Honda I make my way to the school. Staring up at the building. I lay my forehead on the steering wheel and then get out of the car.

I close the door and look over, seeing six people standing together. Five of them incredibly inhumanly perfect and then one that just looked normal. I glance to the side, if not a little awkward she looked normal, but what was she wearing? A way too large coat baggy jeans and a t-shirt. Oh dear lord. It wasn't that cold out.

I lean against the car, swallowing as I shift against the cool medal. It was unnaturally cold right now. I glance over to see one staring at me. Copper hair and strange golden eyes, he reminded me of a boy, younger than me, but his eyes held sight that I'd never seen.

Wisdom and knowledge one does not attain in a single life time. The brunette glances up at him before over at me, a slight jealous glint in her eyes and I have to refrain from rolling my own. He's all yours. I wanted to say, but I refrained from that too. Chewing on the inside of my cheek I stare at the ground.

I run a hand through my hair and lean hard against the door, I stand to walk, but still almost hitting a chirpy girl. I glance to the side, "Hi! I'm a Jessica you must be Tessa." I glance to the side, how the hell?

"Small town word gets around easy." Right. Is she a mind reader? Nope. Alright then.

"So, do you know what class you have?" I shrug.

"Math." She nods.

"With who?" I'm going to scream. "Jameson." I say and she nods.

"Oh great! I could show you." I say nothing and she pulls me off. I glare at the stupid ass school as Jessica yaps away and the next thing I knew she was pulling me off to lunch and trying to get me to sit next to her. The second her back is turned I was gone.

I sat next to mousy brunette and inhaled. "I hate people." I say to her and she blinks before nodding, "They can be annoying." I nod.

"Yeah and bat shit crazy." Her lips twitch up.

"I'm Bella." Interesting name.

"Tessa." She nods and glances at my shoes, "You won't be able to do gym in those." I raise an eyebrow.

"That's kind the point smart one." I say and she raises both eyebrows.

"Really? I usually just go for the river disease." I nod, pressing my lips together, "Or the whole bleeding like a cow thing." I say and she chokes on her water, laughing.

"I've never used that one." She says.

"The what?" We both look over and I realize that I sat at a table with five other people. Oh. A little petite pixie asked the question.

"Uh yeah, Alice. Your period." Realization took over the girl's face and she nods, "Oh." Like she didn't have one, maybe she didn't. I stand.

"See ya." I say to Bella barely catching her 'Bye' I walk out of the cafeteria and still. Realizing I didn't eat, great that's healthy.

I get to history and kids file in. "Alright take a seat, Jasper raise your hand." I blink and turn seeing some fucking god raising his hand. I walk over and sit next to him. His golden honey eyes staring down at his notebook. He was gorgeous with perfectly symmetrical features and a complexion models would die for. His hair was short and dirty blonde falling slightly over his eyes as he continued to doodle. Stop ogling him! But I didn't.

His shoulders were broad and thick and the thin white cotton t-shirt did little to hide that beautiful chest of his. The muscles rippled and moved as he breathed I suppose and as he leaned back his six pack rolled with the deep inhale and large powerful hands stretched across firm strong thighs. His legs were long and powerful in a pair of simple blue jeans.

The bell rang and I blinked when he stood so did I and I truly didn't mean too, but I was five seven and I came up to his neck. It was a strong neck. He didn't look like a high school student, he looked like someone that belonged on a battle field somewhere. I swallow and he walked past him and when his scent hit me my lips parted. Sunshine. He smelled like fresh man and sunshine, utterly erotic. I looked up to see him glance back at me and his lips curled into a small smile.

I blinked then he walked out, his back muscled rippled even through the shirt. "Oh boy." I murmured and made my way directly out of the damn school.

For the next week or so blondie and I would ignore each other, but right now I was at lunch sitting alone and staring at the stupid apple. Eat it. Eat it. I kept repeating that phrase in my head staring at the damn fruit. I grabbed it and started rolling it around on the table switching hands.

Drink the juice. Drink the juice. Drink the damn- "Hey." I look up to see Bella sit down next to me. I blink and give her a smile.

"Uh, yeah hi." Lame. She doesn't seem to mind. "Are you going to glare at that poor apple all day?" I might. Haven't eaten in nearly two days, fuck!

"Um, possibly."

"Why?" I roll my eyes, "Because it's being a grimy bitch." She chuckles as my knee starts to bounce. She was actually very pretty.

"You know your name suits you, didn't see it before, but I can now." She blinks rapidly, before flushing, "I'm not flirting, just a compliment." Again, deeper flush I grin.

"Ooh tell me your boyfriend is good at making you blush." She gives me a look.

"Yeah I suppose." I clap my hands, "Good for him." I say and she glares.

"Oh c'mon you're telling me that no one has ever made you blush?" I blink once and then again, before shaking my head.

"Uh no." She blinks, "What, why?" I shrug.

"Nothing surprises me anymore." I say continuing to roll the apple between my hands.

"I doubt that, some things could surprise you." I laugh softly and shrug.

"Fine try and surprise me, tell me your dirtiest little secret, the skeletons in your closet, because mine's overflowing." She cocks her head to the side, before shrugging.

"I almost died twice last year." I just stare at her. I've almost died ten times in my entire life. Been at death's door countless others. I shrug.

"Everyone dies at some point." I've interested her, she's curious and I have a feeling a curious Bella is a determined Bella.

"I bet you cannot make me blush again." She states leaning back and I smile at the table.

"If I make you blush, you have to tell me to eat this apple. Demand it yell at me I don't care just get me to take a bite, deal?" She blinks, but nods. I look around the cafeteria, "So what's your boyfriend's name?" She shrugs.

"Edward." I blink, "What is it with the names in this town, Edward, Jasper-."

"Yeah Edward, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Esme, Carlisle Cullen." I blink, "Dr. Cullen?" I ask and she nods.

"Yeah you know him?" My lips twitch.

"Yeah I kind of . . . stood him up on a stupid doctor's appointment." She frowns.

"So how bid is Edward's cock?" I ask and she flushes to her roots and then makes a whining sound. "That's not fair." She exclaims.

I smirk, shrugging and sitting back, "That big huh?" More blushing and then laughter, "You're horrible!" She exclaims and I smile shrugging.

"Hey you have to be marrying him for some reason."

"I'm a virgin." She states simply and I stare at her, "So am I, but that doesn't mean you haven't seen his penis." She just stares at me and I stare back.

"Oh." I state and she smiles slightly.

"Eat the damn apple." I raise an eyebrow and then sigh.

"Yep, deal's a deal." I wince and bite into the thing. Chewing it I swallow and it feels all lumpy and thick in my throat, settling in my stomach. I was two pounds underweight, I needed to be one-twenty at least, but I wasn't.

I set it down and then looked up, she was watching me carefully "You don't eat a lot do you?" I raise an eyebrow.

"That obvious?" She shrugs.

"You just looked like you were in pain when you ate it." I nod sucking the top layer of my teeth. Two years ago I was nearly eighty pounds, completely and utterly bones, but I'd gained the weight back, nearly forty pounds, nearly. I looked good, some would even say the perfect body, but I was so sick inside it was insane.

"What happened to your wrist?" She asks eyes widening and I look down, and frown at the coloring bruise. It wrapped around my wrist and I inhaled, "My little brother and I were playing cops and robbers, must have gone awry." She nods slowly, but she didn't look convinced.

She shouldn't be it was an out and out lie and it hurt to say it. Mr. Davis must have grabbed me harder than I thought this morning. I swallow feeling the need to burst into tears, but I give her a wide smile.

"I'll see you later Bella." She nods and I leave the cafeteria. Tears stinging in my eyes and my body shudders out a sob as I lean against the lockers, holding my breath. I breathe deeply in and out over and over again, calming myself and then wiping a tear that had escaped and rubbing my eyes. Missing the eyes watching me through the window of the doors to the cafeteria.


	2. Chapter 2

I sat in history when Jasper walked in. I glanced up to see him watching me carefully. My eyes immediately went back down to my notebook. He sits, looking as gorgeous as fucking ever. I frowned and unconsciously glanced at him. "Alright students, in two weeks you will have a project due, with the partner right next to you. It's a two page essay, I want it well thought out and perfect. No less than one-thousand words on a certain event in history. You all may choose and I will get your choice by the end of class, have a back-up I don't want two of the same events." I sit up and glance at Jasper.

"Um, what do you want to do?" I ask and he shrugs.

"Civil war." He states simply. I nod.

"Alright and if that's taken?" His lips twitch up. "Then you can pick." I blink at him before looking toward the front.

"I'm Jasper Hale, by the way." He states softly and I glance at him, "Yeah I know." He raises an eyebrow.

"I just wanted to introduce myself." I'm sorry, he just wanted to do what?

I look at him, blinking. "Tessa Black." I say and he nods. "Tessa, is that short for something?" He asks and I shake my head. "Nope it's my name, do names have to be long?" My voice is slightly teasing.

He chuckles softly, "Calm down, kitten it was just a question." I watch him and then smile slightly settling in my chair. When the teacher asks us what we are doing, Jasper says, "Civil war." Then Mr. Ray continues without saying anything else.

"You intimidate him." I murmur and he looks at me, "You think?" He smirks. I nod.

"I think you're right." He answers and a slow grin pulls at my lips.

"And you like it." I accuse lightly. He smiles, but says nothing.

After class, Jasper left with me, "Why don't you come over tonight and we can get some of this done?" he suggests and I nod, "Okay."

"I'll drive."

"I'll follow." I counter and he frowns, before nodding slowly, "Alright." He agreed.

I followed Jasper home and parked in front of a gorgeous house. Blinking at it I followed him up the steps. When we got in, Jasper lead me into the living room and I saw Dr. Cullen sitting there with a petite caramel haired woman. "Miss Black." Cullen says and I nod at him.

He stood and looked over at Jasper, "We have a homework assignment together." Jasper explains.

Carlisle nods, "Of course." He gave me a smile. I didn't quite meet his eyes. Looking up I grin at Bella and she smiles.

"C'mon." Jasper touches the small of my back and I gasp flinching from it and laughing slightly. "Please don't." He blinks and the blonde girl frowns at me.

"Alright." He says and I walk behind him and out of the room.

When we get to his room I glance around. It was clean. Neat. Not the place a teenage boy would live in. He sat on the ground and pulled out a laptop. There were pictures on his dresser. A black wooden dresser, hand carved. Against my will I touched the wood blinking. It was beautiful and almost ancient. The pictures were him with his family, and other images. One of a sunrise and the ocean.

I turn and his eyes seemed glued onto the computer screen, almost in too much concentration. My lips twitch and I sit in front of him.

"I'm sorry I freaked when you touched me-."

"It's alright." He says and I stare, "No it wasn't. Don't interrupt it's not nice and I don't apologize often so shut up." I snap. His lips twitch up into a slow grin.

"Yes ma'am." Okay, southern drawl, alright how um hotter than hell.

"So sorry I just don't like being . . . touched." I whisper. He nods.

"There a reason for that?" He asks looking tense and a muscle ticks in his jaw.

"There's a reason for everything, cowboy." I swear I heard laughter somewhere in the house, but I couldn't be sure. Jasper's lips twitch into that crooked smile I've caught a couple times.

I move and watch him type. "What are you doing?"

"Typing." He answers. I chuckle, "Alright smartass, what are you typing?" He smirks. "The essay." He says looking at me with far too dreamy eyes, did dreamy even exist? Okay he was bad. Like total bad boy. I watch him type, blinking rapidly.

"Shouldn't I be helping?" I ask slowly. He shrugs, "Yeah is your name spelled just like it sounds?" I blink at him, before nodding.

"Yes." He continues to type and I frown, before leaning flat on my back staring up at his ceiling. "You know this is a partnership."

"But we barely know each other." He whines and I chuckle turning onto my side, "Well grow a pair and ask me some questions, soldier." I murmur staring at his bed. It was big with copper colored sheets and black pillow cases.

"Fine, do you have any siblings?" I stare up at the ceiling. Then I remembered what I'd told Bella, fuck. "Um, yeah a brother." I state. He glances back at me, "Younger or older?"

"Younger."

"How old?"

"Eight." We stare at each other and he nods. "And your wrist?" he asks. I blink, "My brother and I were playing cops and robbers, a game gone awry." He nods, "Didn't think they made handcuffs so big." He comments glancing down at the bruise.

"Yeah well anything can happen." I say and he turns back around.

"What about you, any siblings?"

He turns and raises an eyebrow, "Besides the ones downstairs?"

"I'm talking about biologically." I state and he stares at me, "You don't think any of them downstairs is biologically related to me?"

"Nope." I say pronouncing the p with a pop. "Rose is my twin."

I snort before covering it with a cough, "Oh?" I ask, the one that looks younger than you by at least a couple years?

"Yeah." He stares down at me and I sat up gripping his shirt before pushing away from him. "How old are you?" He asks and I glance back at him.

"Eighteen." I whisper and he nods, "And still a junior?" He asked, confused. I fidget, "What about you? How old are you?" I ask, changing the subject. He says nothing.

"Depends." Vague much? I raise an eyebrow, "Are we talking about physically or in the great comical of things?" He asks as his body tenses, but he says nothing.

I laugh letting him off the hook, "Oh Jasper you're cute." I say and he smiles easily at me. "Eighteen." He says and I nearly snort again, he isn't eighteen and he wouldn't meet my eyes.

It's okay; Jasper, I lied too. I watch him and he glances up at me. "I'll write the paper if you tell me one thing." I stare at him, raising an eyebrow.

"You don't have a brother." He accuses, gently. My lips twitch and I fall backwards, "I did." I whisper, "Jackson. He died." I sat up and stare at him.

"So did my sister and my parents, at the exact same time at the exact same moment in the exact same way. He was eight." Jasper watched me.

"And your wrist?"

"I bruise easily."

"Bullshit." I smile at him and then raise an eyebrow falling flat on my back again. "So how old are you again?" I murmur and he was silent. I grin from ear to ear. The only sound was the typing of his long elegant fingers. "I get to read it right?" I ask, making sure. He hums and I smile standing.

"I'm going through your things is that okay?" He doesn't say anything and I shrug.

Sitting up on his bed, I lean over grabbing a book that sat on his dresser. To Kill a Mockingbird. It looked worn, as if read over and over again. It looked old. Extremely old. I frown as I stare at the copy. Opening it with care. Running my hands down the worn pages I read the paper. The words were typed and old looking. The bed dipped and I gasped going forward. Jasper caught my waist.

"It's an old copy." He murmurs and I nod staring at him. Before putting it back and swallowing. "What- what time is it?" I ask and he glances at his watch. "Six." He murmurs and I nod staring at him. "Oh."

Wait. What. I grab is wrist, "As in _six pm_?" I ask and he nods blinking I jump from his bed, "See you at school Jasper I have to go." I say grabbing my bag and getting down the stairs and out of the door before he could say anything. I curse colorfully as I get into my car and pull out.

Then I get lost and don't get home until nearly seven. I enter and see Mr. Davis sitting on the couch he looked up and I closed the door, "Where have you been?" He demands and I shrug. "Just at a friend's house, homework."

"Homework is called homework because it's supposed to be done at home. You understand?" He snaps and I nod, "Yes sir."

"If you break curfew, which is seven thirty and you came close tonight. There will be consequences. Are we clear?" His stern voice caused me to flinch. I swallow thickly and nod, "Crystal, sir."

"Go to bed." He says and for the first time I was actually hungry. Instead of saying anything I run up the steps and into my room, locking the door. I fall onto my bed and grab a photo out from under my pillow. My parents in the back with Lily, my big sister next to them, Jack by my father's legs and me in the middle hugging onto mom and Lily's waist we were so happy. I sniff, lips quivering as the tears fall.

"I miss you guys." I whisper. The pain engulfs my body as I curl into a ball of tears.

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 **Author's Note: Whew, what did you all think?! I love Tessa, and by the way this is completely fake. I made it up, Tessa is not real nor is she based off of anyone that I know or have heard about. Any similarities to anyone, I do apologize for, but it is merely coincidental. Anyways! Give me your opinions and feedback! Love you all, mwah!**


	3. Chapter 3

The next day I skip school and go to the hospital. I do owe Carlisle a blood test. When I got to the front desk I told the woman that I had an appointment with Dr. Cullen and she immediately called him. "So Tessa, how have you been?" He asked, surprising the hell out of me.

"Fine, Dr. Cullen and you?" Politeness was a virtue that I intended to keep . . . you know, when someone deserves it.

"Fine, fine. I would like to take a look at those bruises though. How long have you had them?" He asked casually and I glared at the back of his head, before calming. No need to get so worked up, Tess.

"Um a couple days." I muttered and he nods.

"Alright take a seat." Carlisle said, motioning toward the chair in the corner of the room.

I did and he left me be. As I cross my legs I notice something out of the corner of my eye and it draws my attention. Turning my head I saw Jasper. He was walking down the hall wearing a pair of black jeans that hung dangerously low on his tight hips. His shirt was a white t-shirt that hung on his torso, hugging him in all the right places.

His golden locks looking as silky as ever. His eyes looked up and immediately connected with mine. Honey gold on green. I looked away, my heart hammering in my chest like a horse race track. I gripped the chair, causing my knuckles to turn white. Jasper Hale was driving me out of my mind. The door opened and I looked up seeing Jasper. I stood quickly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude, but you weren't at school today and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay?" God what century was he from? Oh dear lord, who knows?

"Thanks, but I'm fine."

"Can you come over to work on the assignment?" He asked, still lingering in the door way.

"Sure, what time?"

"Whenever you're done here. I can wait." Against my better judgment I found myself nodding and soon he smiled and turned leaving me with my thoughts.

Dr. Cullen came in a little while later. "Was that my son?" No, it was the nurse's son. Of course I didn't say that.

"Yes, it was. Jasper." I have no idea why I felt the need to say his name. His father obviously knows his name.

Carlisle chuckled under his breath pulling a chair up and holding my arm gently as he rolled up my sleeves. He was talking to me but I was paying attention to the throb between my legs. Jasper's eyes were still boring into my mind along with his perfectly sculpted body with skin that reminded me of vanilla ice cream. I pressed my lips together trying to calm my quickly growing arousal.

I noticed that Carlisle seemed tense and I smiled at him. He wouldn't meet my eyes, though. In fact he looked a little uncomfortable. Oh! Enhanced sense of smell. Right. Fuck. I hope he doesn't think it's because of him . . .

Carlisle decided to go against the whole physical examination and let me go early, explaining that he would email me the test results. I noticed that the rest of the Cullen's were in the hospital waiting room and Bella's hand was being taped up. "Bella?" She looked up at my question and gave me a smile.

"What happened?" I ask, grinning from ear to ear and she shrugged winking.

"I punched a . . . a wall." She cleared her throat and my jaw slowly tightened.

"A wall . . . how interesting." I murmur slowly glancing at Edward.

"Yeah, just a wall." She said nodding.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why what?" She asked way too innocently.

"Why did you punch the wall and where did you get the strength to sprain your hand doing it?" I ask and she blinks.

"What business is it of yours?" Rosalie, the tall blonde, snaps.

"Is she always a bitch?" I ask Bella who shrugs.

"You'll get used to it." She says nodding.

"So why are you in the hospital?" Bella asked as her father frowns at her wrist.

"That's what I'd like to know." My entire being tenses as I stare at Bella. I look back to see Mr. Davis stilling next to me.

I swallow as I watch him, "Theresa I received a phone call from your school. You missed all of your classes." On the outside he looked like a natural parent scolding his child, but in reality, I knew he was simmering underneath it all.

"I had a doctor's appointment." I defended slightly.

"Yes, an appointment at four o'clock. Did you need seven hours to prepare for said appointment?" He asked and I stare at him. I glance over at Bella and give her a smile, "See you at school, Bella." I turn and walk past him. Bile rising in my throat.

We weren't fifteen feet from the Cullen's when Richard grabbed my upper arm, his grip too tight as he growls in my ear. "I hope you are aware that skipping school is a violation of your parole." We walked quickly.

"It was one day and what are you going to do? Call Jameson?" I snap back, trying to squirm from his grip. The hallway we were going down was empty and he was hurting me. Not to mention he was pissed off.

"Don't you ever defy me again, and for your sake I wouldn't come home tonight." He shoved me hard. So hard that the breath was knocked out of me before impact. My back hit the wall with a harsh thud and a spasm of pain hit my spin as I slid to the ground. Richard Davis stormed down the rest of the hallway.

I don't know how much time passed, but it was dark outside when the door opened. I looked over, but as I tried to focus it was blurry. How long had I been crying? I don't cry, not in public. When I tried to stand, I shifted and a jolt of pain ran along my back causing me to release a half sob, half cry. The pain keeping me grounded. "Tessa?" It sounded like Mrs. Cullen. Oh, that is the last thing I needed. A Cullen.

When her hand touched gently against the place on my arm Richard had gripped, I cried out against the searing, numbing pain. "Please . . . oh please don't touch me there." I whimper and she nods quickly.

"Alright dear." She whispers gently kneeling next to me and rolling up my sleeve. I looked down at the black and purple bruise wrapped around my upper arm. I bang my head against the wall, "Fuck." I curse through a gentle sob as two tears form the wetness on my face.

I glance at her, "Sorry." I mutter. She nods, shrugging.

She helps me stand and as a walk it hurts. God nothing has hurt this much since- no, absolutely don't think about that. I shut my eyes tightly as I walk down the hall. "Tessa!" Oh, mother of all hell. I grunt as Bella comes next to me looking out of her mind with worry.

I sit down and close my eyes tilting my head back against the wall. "What happened?" Bella asked softly and I just snap. I don't like being worried about, it reminds me too much of my mother and I am not in the mood to think about my mother.

"Look, Bella, you're sweet really and I like you, but I swear to god, if you don't take a step away from me. I'm going to sprain my own wrist, but I won't do it with a wall, I'll do it with your face." I snap, feeling like a bitch, but I ignore it leaning back again.

She stood up straighter, "Okay. I get it, you're hurt and pissed off at the world, but you don't need to take it out on me. Last I checked I was your friend." I open my eyes, they stare at Rosalie and she glances to the side.

I look at Bella. I roll my shoulders and push from the chair staring at her. "People are often confused about many things, Bella, but don't fool yourself. I am not your friend." I say pushing past her, it hurt like hell, but I wasn't a person she wanted as a friend. I walked out of the hospital. Wrapping my arms around my stomach I walk down the darkened road. Alone.

* * *

 **Author's Note: Tessa. Geez this girl is ruining all good things, but I can't blame her. Can you?! I need to know, so any feedback, please! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

I walked through the local grocery store and as I turned down one aisle I passed two talking women. Normally I wouldn't take much notice, but I saw Mrs. Cullen, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett on the other side of said aisle. All of the children looking like they were trying to get Esme to leave . . . quickly. I glance to the side and turned staring down at said meat, but I was actually listening to the women. "God can you believe her?" One whispered. I squinted.

"Yes, desperation makes you stupid. I must say I do pity her, not all women are built to keep track of a man like Carlisle." I'm sorry . . . what?

"Yes, men do tend to stray." Again, huh? Their little insults continued and I looked over at Esme who ignored her children.

A memory of my mother hit me, hard. It was when my father had been spending more and more time at work for money that we needed for my treatment. At the time we'd been living in a small town, and like most places, people talked, but small town people talk too loud. They jump to ugly conclusions and their own stupid solutions. The three women in the past that talked about my mom were downright cruel, just like these two bitches.

But, my mom loved my father and knew the truth so she said nothing. Just held her high and walked past them. At first I hadn't thought it affected her. Until I heard her crying in her room later than night. I had wanted to hurt those women back then for hurting my mom and right now, Esme reminded me too much of my mother. I blinked back the tears and turned ripping the meat out of the smug woman's hands and threw it back into the cooler thing.

"I suggest you shut up and leave before I punch you in your throats. And believe me, I want my fist to connect with your throats. It'll stop the rat murmurs." I say sweetly. They both release cliché scoffs of outrage before scampering off. Like the cowards they were. I run a hand through my hair. Before shifting under the gazes I feel. I turn on my heel and walk away.

I arrive at the ice cream isle and sigh reading the pints. Ooh! Snickers. I grab the pint of snickers ice cream and then one of red velvet ice cream. I have no idea how I still weight just one-hundred and twenty pounds. It was weird. I grin and bounce toward the check out. Another awful thing about small towns is one register. The Cullen's were there. I want ice cream. So I stand behind Emmett, staring down at the mini candy aisle.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice the two women from earlier, but now they were talking about me. Unless Esme is now a delinquent. I blew a bubble with my gun, not really giving a damn. "You know, I've never wanted to hit a woman before, but I came very close today." Emmett commented to me.

"I've hit many women. Not a big deal." I comment.

"Yes well, usually people frown upon opposite gender abuse." He states glancing at my ice cream with amusement.

I shrug, "I've hit plenty men too." I state and grab a pack of hard caramel candies.

"How do you hit that many people and not get hit back?" Emmett asked casually and against my better judgment I said.

"No one said I wasn't ever hit back." Emmett's body wasn't the only one of the Cullen's that tensed.

"Well looks like we'll have to sit down, it appears I have names to add to my kill list." He stated.

"Yeah we'd run out of paper." I say, more to myself then anyone else. I glance to the side before back up at him. "You're big!" I chirp, yeah his pissed off look didn't change.

I sigh rolling my eyes as I smile at the cash register. His eyes were on my cleavage. "My eyes are green." I say to him and his snap up to my own as he flushes. I let him off the hook with a wink.

I give him the exact amount and he blinks down at it, "No change needed, Casanova, just the bag." I state and he nods handing it over to me.

I turn to leave, but I see all of the Cullen's waiting. I glance to the side and laugh slightly as I slip past them. I notice Jasper. Of course I did. I always notice Jasper. Fucking hell. He wore a black sweater with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, exposing his muscular forearms. I hate him. Okay, no I don't.

I glance at Esme. "I didn't do it for you." I say to her suddenly figuring out that they were either lingering because they wanted to crazy murder me. Or because they were trying to figure out how to thank me.

"Then who'd you do it for?" Esme asked.

"That's complicated. I don't do well with bitches, but I didn't do it for you." I state turning and walking through the parking lot.

"Then it was pretty stupid to do it." I still and turn watching her with interest.

"I like you." I state nodding.

"Well that's more than Bella could say." Ooh I felt scolded. I raise both eyebrows.

"Is this the part where you play mommy and make me feel oh so bad?" I ask pouting slightly. She looked unfazed. Yes I liked her.

"Well it depends, there is the 'I have know right' reason, but then there is the 'you don't look like you've had much parenting in your life' reason. So I haven't decided yet." She finished, still looking unfazed.

I was biting my tongue to keep from cursing at her. I don't curse at mothers. You know unless they deserve it. She didn't though.

"Yes well, dead parents and abusive households aren't the usual parenting zones, are they?" I didn't wait for an answer I just turned and walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

School officially sucked. I go and I actually do the work. Silently hoping that this would cause the day to drag on, yeah I was wrong. I skipped lunch and now found myself walking to history. Perhaps I should skip that as well. Nah, the last thing I need is another phone call to the Davis household. Hopefully Jasper is sick. Yes I was completely aware that said event was impossible in every sense of the word, but I enjoyed hopeful bliss as I turned into the classroom.

No. Such. Luck. Jasper sat right where he usually sat. I opened my mouth suddenly feeling the need to chicken out and hide under a rock, but I instead get a look from the teacher as he shuts the door. So I turn and walk to my seat. Mr. Ray decides to allow all of the partner groups to discuss said project. Jasper and I were mostly silent, until he informed me that he finished the project. The bell rung before I could say anything and he left.

For some reason I found myself at his house after school and knocking on the door, he opened it. "Oh good! Just the person I wanted to see!" I state and Canada could taste the sarcasm.

"Can I help you?" He asked leaning against the door frame.

"Yes, actually there is. I'd just like to inform you that you piss me off!" I yell and turn to leave, but he moves, blocking me.

"That is getting annoying." He snapped.

"What is?" I snap back.

"Your little exit routine, I'm getting damn tired of you always getting the last word in, so shut up and let me talk." He states and I cross my arms staring up at him. He says nothing.

"Jasper, I'm not quiet for most, so do yourself a favor and talk before I leave!" I exclaim, even more pissed off.

"Fine, I want you to except Esme's gratitude and I want you to apologize to Bella."

"Well, it's good to want things." I go to walk past him, but he grabs my arm and turns me, forcing me to face him again, except this time our positions are shifted.

"No, I don't want things. Perhaps I phrased it wrong, you are going to except Esme's gratitude and apologize to Bella, no questions." He was cute when he was demanding.

"Well, unfortunately for you soldier, I don't follow orders or give a damn about what you want." I say my head tilted back so I could look into his eyes.

His large arms crossed over his massive chest as he stares down at me, "If you don't give a damn, then why did you come here just to announce that I piss you off just as much as you piss me off?"

"I had some time to kill."

"Bullshit."

"exactly what this conversation is." Again I go to walk past him.

"No, you aren't getting the last word in." He snapped and I laughed, "Fine, then let's argue some more, this is kind of fun. it's been a while since I've been in a good verbal spar with someone so stubborn." I state, and his eyes narrow.

" _I'm_ stubborn? Oh honey you invented the damn word."

"Has anyone ever told you how infuriating you are?" I demanded, somehow our bodies had gotten closer during the argument.

"Has anyone ever told you you're kind of beautiful when you're pissed off?" He asked, his voice just as angry as mine. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. No, no they haven't. Speechless. Me. My father is rolling in his grave. My sister is cheering in hers. He. Made. Me. Speechless.

I blink at him. Then I turn and start to get away from that house and from him. "Tessa." I hear him say as I continue forward. No one has ever called me beautiful. At least not in eight years. It seems like forever.

"Tessa where are you going?" He snaps and I still, how am I still in his driveway.

"Why do you care? You got the last word." My voice was barely above a whisper, but I knew he could hear.

"You still have things to do." I spin and stare at Jasper. My mouth open. Fine. I marched past him and up the steps into his house

When I get into the living room I see Esme and I smile sweetly at her, "You thanked me the other day, I accept. Bella I was a bitch to you, I had a bad moment. I am so, so sorry." I turn facing Jasper and giving him a smile.

"There, happy?" I march past him and out of the house. Yes, bitches. I got the last word.

I was trying to sleep, but I ended up just watching the ceiling. Suddenly, causing me to jump out of my skin there was a knock on my window. A gentle tap. I was in a pair of panties and a tank top with no bra, I should not have gotten up and opened that window, but I did. Jasper blinked at me and I bent over, keeping my eyes level with his.

"Jasper, what do you want?"

"To tell you that I think you're amazing, you left to quickly earlier." I glare.

"I don't need your charity." I mutter, going to close the window.

"Tess wait!" I still and look back at him. He licked his lips.

"Can I- can I come in?" He asked and I push away, allowing him to jump in. As I shut my window I try to ignore the feel of his eyes on me. When I look over I notice his eyes move rapidly from the direction then once were. Which was my legs. I bite my bottom lip to cover my smile.

"Tessa, I'm sorry that I yelled at you and that we argued. I shouldn't have demanded things from you." He states and I roll my eyes.

"I wasn't exactly an angel myself, Jasper. It's okay. I'm sorry that I'm an emotionless bitch, but I am so." I mumble searching the floor.

"You aren't emotionless or a bitch, so stop fucking talking like that. So were you sleeping?" I shook my head no to his question.

"No. I have nightmares so I don't get much sleep."

"I could stay." His proposal shocked the both of us. "I-I mean just until you fall asleep, fight the nightmares away." He murmured.

"With what?" I ask and he shrugged.

"My awesomeness." He shrugged simply and I laugh at that. "Oh yes, they'll run away scared."

"What do you say? Am I staying?" He asked patiently and I chew on the inside of my cheek. I would only sleep, nothing else and it's nothing bad or inappropriate. Depending on how you look at it. So with a deep breath I meet his eyes again.

"Yes."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Well, well, well I love writing this story. What do you all think? Feedback please! Happy reading:)**


	6. Chapter 6

"You're cold." I mumble as my hand brushes his. He hummed and I glanced over to see him with his eyes closed. He couldn't sleep. Was he faking or just resting? Could he even rest? I bite my bottom lip and turn on my side so that I faced him. Scooting my body down so that my face was level with his.

"Jasper." I whisper. Nothing. Biting my bottom lip I poke his cheek and grin. Still nothing. God if he wasn't already dead . . . I'd be worried.

"Jasper I like to sleep naked. What are your thoughts on the matter?" I say before smiling. Oh he was determined. His lips didn't even twitch.

Shrugging I sat up causing the bed to shift and I grab the hem of my tank top, it barely brushes my navel before his arm shoots out, wraps around my waist, and pulls me back down, crushed against his side.

"So that's a no to the nakedness?" I ask through a grin.

"Jesus, woman. _Sleep._ " He grumbles out and I kick out my legs.

"Five more minutes, mom!" I whine and he snickers against my shoulder.

"Tessa sleep, not everyone has the luxury." He murmurs and I stare up at the ceiling.

I had to keep my tongue between my teeth to stop from calling him out on that. "Jasper I have insomnia, okay? My body doesn't like sleep apparently. It's not like I don't sleep. _I_ physically _can't._ " Just like you. I thought silently.

"Yes you can, kitten. The human body is designed to relax and sleep. You just don't want to. Fear. Anxiety. Call it what you want, but you can sleep." He murmurs softly, his cool breath fans the side of my face.

"Could have fooled me." I mumble.

He inhaled and sat up. I went with him gripping his arm. "Where are you going?" I hated how worried and fearful my voice sounded. I didn't need anyone, this was insane and I didn't care.

He blinked honey eyes at me. "Nowhere Tess. I just sat up okay?" He murmurs gently as the pad of his fingers run along my throat. I nod slowly, swallowing and his fingers trace the movement. I was in a bed with the one thing I should fear beyond comprehension. Then again, I always did have a stupid knack for trusting them.

"Do me a favor." He says and I nod.

"What?" I breathe, because right now I'm pretty sure I'd pop a vein for him if he asked . . .or possibly scream at the top of my lungs.

"Lie back and close your eyes." He finishes and I stare for a couple beats. God, did he have some control ability or something? I didn't feel like this was against my will, but hey you never know.

I do as he asks and then feel the reassuring weight of his body against mine with his arm securely around my waist. "Relax." He breathes. Then almost as if a blanket was laid over me. A wave of exhaustion and relaxation hits me. The last thing I heard before blessed sleep enveloped me was Jasper's smooth voice.

"Sweet dreams, darlin'."

* * *

 **Author's Note: Okay shortest chapter so far, but pretty packed. Tell me what you think! Till next time, guys!**


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up the next morning, Jasper was gone. I pout and sit up glancing at the clock, before doing a stunned double take. Is that Eleven _AM_? My mouth was open in shock as I stare at the bed spread a soft smile pulling at my lips. I get off the bed and realize that it's Saturday the absolute best day of the week, well, besides Friday.

I've never slept to Eleven before and I feel surprisingly refreshed, briefly wondering if this was what people who sleep daily actually feel like. It's addicting. I smile and slip on a pair of high waisted shorts and a long sleeve red crop top. I slip a brush through my dark auburn hair and slip on a pair of flip flops before leaving. As soon as I'm outside I take off into a full sprint.

I smile as I turn down the Cullen's driveway, not stopping or slowing down. I see Jasper, "Jasper!" He drops the box and spins, catching me immediately. My legs wrap around his waist he hoists me up. I lace my fingers behind his neck and smile at him. My heart racing.

"I ran here." I chirp, proudly and he was watching me with that crooked smile of his.

"Did you now?" He asked, his drawl thick and I grin biting my bottom lip.

"Yes."

"The entire two miles?" He inquired.

"Yes! And I haven't even eaten anything yet." I state, but I was still extremely aware of his hands holding my thighs.

"I'm very proud." He states with a wink and I nod. Moving closer and looking down at him.

"You should be. I don't run for just anyone." I wink at him and he chuckles. He was so cold, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was . . . nice.

"So what did I interrupt?" I ask staring down at the box.

"Not a damn thing, kitten." He murmurs.

"Speak for yourself!" We both look over at an angry looking Emmett.

"Look, this is cute, seriously, like some movie love scene, but we were in the middle of something." He grumbled and I opened my mouth, but Jasper kissed my jaw, silencing me. His lips were so soft. And cool, did I mention soft? I glance down at him.

"Sorry Emmett." I mumble and he chuckles going back to what he was doing.

"No, Alice I don't want to talk about it!" I heard Bella's voice exclaim as she jogs down the steps and over to her truck. Edward was immediately at the door, but stilled as he stared at me. Giving me a smile, tensely. He walked over to Bella.

"No Edward I don't want to discuss it, it's not happening!" She yelled at him, ooh. I jumped down from Jasper.

"Bella he's your mother's husband I think we should at least send an invitation, I don't understand the big deal." Edward said, gently.

"Frankly Edward, I don't really give a damn."

"Ooh!" I oohed and Bella's steely gaze landed on me.

"You. I'm not in the mood." She snaps and I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes, I know. So does Canada." I state crossing my arms and she scowls.

"Honey, you look like you need to hit something. Might I suggest not hitting your marble fiancé or your truck." She was in a really bad mood.

"You really piss me off." She growled getting close to my face and I give her a cocky smirk.

"Do I now? You know, surprisingly, you aren't the only person to ever say that to me." I state with an mocking nod. Getting her worked up was what I wanted. I learned a long time ago that keeping it all buried inside was not a good thing.

"You think you're better than everyone just because you're quippy don't you?" She snaps and I shrug, another mocking nod.

"Sure, yeah I have my moments." The sting on the left side of my face hurt, a lot more than I thought it would. I however have learned how to stand my ground and the only part of my body that moves is my head. I stare at the ground for a moment, fisting my hands to keep from backhanding her.

I turn to stare at her again, moving closer, she takes a step back. "Feel better?" I ask and her wide eyes search me as she nods quickly.

I turn and walk very fast away from her. Jasper tries to grab me, "Don't." I say leaving the proximity completely. About halfway down the street I heard a honk and turn to see Bella's monstrous truck.

"Need a ride?" She asks and I raise an eyebrow.

"No, get out and walk with me." I state continuing, hearing her disbelieving scoff.

"Get in." She says again and I slowly come to a stop before turning.

"Frankly I'm afraid of being blow up." I state and she blinks, before rolling her eyes.

"I'm just heading back to the Cullen's. Jasper is pissed off and you need to calm him down or I won't ever be able to show my face there again. Besides Esme has food she needs tasted for this wedding." She mutters and I watch her.

"Fine, I'll get in, but let's get some things straight. If you ever need to release some energy I can help, but don't try it with one of the Cullen's, okay?" I say and she nods, shrugging.

"And the last thing, I don't think I'm better than anyone Bella. This is who I am. I'm bitchy and I push people away, it's a defense mechanisms my many therapists have come to the conclusions of. We good?" I ask and she stares at me.

"Yeah, we're good." I get in the car and we drive to the Cullen's. When we get there I see something that shocks the hell out of me. No. Fucking. Way. A wide uncontrollable smile spreads across my lips as I jump out.

"Hey hoe!" I call and Tanya turns her head, it takes her a second before she's squealing and running toward me at full speed, wrapping her arms around my waist and turning me quickly. I giggle as I hold her shoulders. As soon as I'm released, my body spins and I'm engulfed into another blonde's arms.

"Tessie!" She squeals and I laugh.

"Katie!" I squeal back as she pulls back.

"Baby! You get sexier every time I see you. It's unfair!" She announces and I shrug.

"I do what I can, Kate." I state with a nod, holding her arms with Tanya's arms wrapped around my neck, as she giggles next to my ear.

I look over, "Rina!" I pout and she looked as stoic as ever.

"Rina!" I sing again and her lips twitch as she looks off into the woods. I glance at the other two sisters and they wink. I move over to Rina.

"Fine, fine I understand." I state nodding and she smirks at the ground.

I go to brush past her, but she grabs me immediately into a hug and I chuckle. "Oh I missed you too, Tessa." She murmured and I smile, before kissing her cheek.

"It's impossible not to." I state with a shrug and she chuckles.

"Hey I missed you too." Carmen says pulling me in for a hug with Eleazar sighing in relief.

"It's been too long." He states.

"Totally agree with you there, El." I state, nodding. He chuckled and pulled me against him, with one arm around my neck and the other around my back.

"So, how has my favorite family of vampires been?" I ask, staring at a grinning Tanya.


	8. Chapter 8

_Previously: "So, how has my favorite family of vampires been?"_

Carmen chuckles as I grin, still holding onto Eleazar's shoulders. "We've been just find, sweetheart, and you?" She inquires, giving me a look and I shrug.

"Still reeking havoc." I state, proudly and Tanya laughs, winking at me.

"That's are girl." Kate adds with Irina's silent shake of the head.

"Wait, you know what we are?" Jasper asks, looking . . . angry. I swallow and uncomfortably separate from Eleazar.

"Well . . . yeah, Jasper." I murmur staring at him and he blinks.

"I thought you were in foster care." He comments and the Denali's all tense, eyes narrowing at Jasper.

"Well, we put her in there after the Volturi found out we were aiding a human. I exposed myself to her, Jasper." Tanya defended and he stared at her before his eyes immediately shifted back to me. They were pitch black. I had never seen them pitch black. I wanted the honey gold.

"So you know what I am?" He asked, again, but this time it seemed . . . much, much, more intimate.

"Yes." I say nodding.

"So last night, you were being stupid on purpose." He snaps and fury engulfs my body.

"Excuse me? Don't you dare put last, okay, what happened last night that was somehow in danger to my health and wellbeing?" I snap, pissed off.

"You should have told me to leave, Tessa. And you sure as hell shouldn't have teased me." He accused and my mouth dropped. I spun on me heel and marched off. Ooh.

"Bastard." I growled under my breath, still storming off. I come slowly to a stop and then spin on my heel again, marching past Kate and Tanya who had been following me. I walked directly up to him and poked his chest.

"For your information, you smug little douche bag. I wasn't teasing you . . . I was just playing around." I swallow shaking my head.

"And trust me Jasper, if I was teasing you, we would have had sex." I state and he raises an eyebrow.

"Who's the smug one now?" He asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"Still you, I'm just being realistic." I state crossing my own arms and he releases an amused bark of laughter.

"You're so proud, you can't even admit when you're wrong. I could have killed you last night." He growled and I felt Tanya and Kate move closer to me.

"You're right. In fact you could kill me right now, are you going to?" I ask and he blinks, standing up straighter.

"No, of course not." He snaps.

"You just proved my point." I state simply and his jaw tightened.

"It's not the same." He says and I continue to just stare at him.

"Okay, I'm confused. Last I checked, _you_ came to _my_ room, _you_ offered to stay in _my_ bed, so in what comical universe is this situation, in any way, my fault? Because I didn't spill my dirty secret? Last I checked Jasper you weren't exactly chatty on the subject of your species either!" I exclaim, so beyond pissed that it wasn't even funny.

He just turned and walked away. My body slowly deflated of it's anger as I watched him go. I crossed my arms tighter and just stared. My eyes slowly lowered and when I glanced back up, he was gone. I turn and Tanya tries to grab my waist, but I push away, shaking my head. I walk down the opposite direction, farther and farther away from Jasper.

It's been about two weeks since that incident and I've avoided all vampires, and I must say, I'm extremely proud of that fact. I know the Denali's are still in town because I've gotten messages and texts from all of them, including Irina. I was always closer with Kate and Tanya, but I had a soft spot for the cold sister and she also had one for me. Two weeks of no school, too. That was a strange one to explain to the Davis's. They weren't happy, but I'd leave for the day and not return until I knew they were too busy to care.

Bella had even called a couple times, I ignored her. I currently lay in my bed listening to King of Leon. They are surprisingly wise when you're in a depression. There was suddenly a large bang from downstairs and I gasp launching up in my bed, "Fucking hell!" I heard Mr. Davis exclaim. There was doorbell and I move out of my room, carefully situating on the top of the steps.

"Yeah what?!" Mr. Davis exclaims as he opens the door.

"Can I help you?" He demands, rudely. I swallow glancing to the side.

"Tessa!" He roars turning and I jump up.

"There you are, there are people for you at the door, when did you get so popular?" He mumbles walking off down the hall and I swallow setting my phone down before walking down the steps and reopening the door. Tanya, Kate, and Eleazar stand on the porch. All looking extremely pissed off. I lick my lips.

"Get a bag of clothes, now." Tanya demands, and I didn't have the balls to say no to her face. I turn and jog up the steps, I pack light and then lock my bedroom door, sliding from the window. I jump to the ground and jog around the house. They all blink looking back at me as I stick my head through the door, not seeing anyone. I close it. I glance at them and suddenly I'm thrown on Eleazar's back and he's speeding off like lightening through the woods.

I gasp, coughing as he releases me, "What the hell was that?" He demands and I was panting, shrugging.

"That was my foster person, dad, thing." I state and turn to see the Cullen's piling out, Bella with them.

"And are they usually drunken pricks?" Kate snaps and I watch her.

"Yes." I state shrugging.

"Why didn't you call me? Us?" She yelled and I blinked.

"I always call you Tanya, every single house for the past six years." I shrug both shoulders.

"I was done needing you." I mumble and she just stares at me. "I was done being the burden." I finish and she blinks reeling back as if I'd physically struck her.

I glance up, it was dark out. Great. "You're staying here." Eleazar states and I frown.

"No, I'm going home." I state back at him.

"That's a home?" Kate mumbles and I stare at her.

"Yep, matches my bitchy attitude." I give her a peace sign and she gives me an unamused look. I just shrug at it.

"You are staying here." Tanya gives me her no, shit attitude. I just shrug and turn walking back toward the woods, she was immediately in front of me and I bypass her still walking at a normal pace.

She continues to come in front of me and I continue to bypass her. We do this until I'm ready to gouge my brains out and it doesn't take that long.

"Jesus, Tanya!" I yell and she shakes her head.

"Not quite." She states and I give her a dry-as-sand look.

"I'm not staying here." I say simply and she crosses her arms.

"Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes."

"Fucking hell!" I yell and turn, laughing into my hand as I shake my head. My phone buzzes in my hand and I open it, seeing an email attachment.

My eyes landed on the first big heading: _Test Results: Leukemia Positive._


	9. Chapter 9

I stared down at the phone in shock for several minutes. This wasn't possible. The cells had been killed or frozen off, or something. I have been in remission since the age of eight! This couldn't be happening, but there it was in big bold letters, taunting me, glaring it at me. Glaring the truth of this reality I'd been calling a life for the past eight years.

 _Test Results: Leukemia Positive_

How could this be happening? What did it fucking mean? I don't want to die, I don't want to go through the procedures again. I just wanted something _good_. Okay, I get it; don't ask for things to be better, wish you were better, but dammit I just want some good luck. Is that too much to ask? I'm dying, I've lost every one of my family members, all I'm asking for is some relief from this hell!

I turn around and meet Carlisle's eye. I walk over to him and hand him my phone, he blinks, but takes a look at it. He scrolls down a little. "I haven't seen these yet, the results would have been automatically transferred to you." He states and I just stare at him.

"What is it?" Tanya demands snatching the phone from his hands, her sharp intake of breath makes my throat burn.

"Fine, you'll be turned." She concludes with a shrug and Kate snatches the phone away. I look over and see Jasper standing about ten feet away from me. His eyes boring into the phone as if trying to see what is said.

"You cannot just decide if she will be turned, Tanya, you have to give her a choice, it's the moral thing to do!" Kate exclaims and I stare at the ground as the two sisters continue to argue over my fate.

"She will be turned!" Tanya exclaims, I knew she was only being this way because she loved me, but the truth is. I didn't know what I wanted.

"Stop." I demand and they both still looking over at me.

"It's not your choice, it's not any of yours and frankly I don't want to be a vampire. I've never wanted to be one." I state hugging my arms around my waist as I stare at the ground.

I turn and squirm in my own skin, walking away from that house. Tears in my eyes. When I get to the road I sit down and stare. I fucking hate this world. What did I do?! What did I do? To deserve losing my family? To deserve being put in foster homes where the men made me their punching bag or play thing? What happened to make god think that I deserved hell on earth? I sob as I closed my eyes tightly, feeling warm tears roll down my cheeks.

I feel a presence come next to me and I glance over, looking up. Jasper sits down and I glare, "What do you want?" I snap.

He shrugs, "You don't want to be a vampire." He whispers softly and I just stare at him.

"No." I snap. "I don't want to be a vampire." My voice breaks, losing all of its firmness and strength.

"I don't want to die, Jasper." I cry and he nods, pulling me closer to him. I bury my face in his neck.

"I've never wanted to die." I sob, clutching to his sides as his arms wrap as tight as they can around me.

"I don't want you to die either." He whispers against my ear.

I was shaking as he held me against him. "Tessa." He whispers and I look up at him as his jaw grinds.

"I'm sorry, about what I said to you. I had no right. I was just angry that you knew and that I couldn't keep it from you for very long." He says, softly and I stare at him.

"Jasper . . . I've never thought less of you." I say as my eyes search him and he lifts me up, pulling me closer to him. I grip the collar of his shirt. I was suddenly extremely aware of his hand on my upper back thigh as his other one cradles the back of my head. I was chewing on my bottom lip, trying to decide if I was actually going to get that close to him. He was merely a hairs breath from my lips when I spoke.

"Please . . . don't." I whisper, tears pooling in my eyes. He blinks as my heart starts to pound in my ears.

"Why not?" He breathes and my stomach clenches.

"Because I'm dying . . . and I find it easier to make it through if you have nothing to lose." I explain, before pushing away from him and running away. I always run away, it's a good way of breaking my own heart, before someone else does.

When I get back to the house, my mind was all burry and I wasn't thinking, so I just walked through the front door. When I entered I was slammed against the wall. Blood burned into the back of my throat. And I choked on it. Coughing as Mr. Davis grips my neck, I stare through blurred eyes. "Where. Have. You. Been?" He growls in my face, his liquor drenched breath burning in my nostrils. I was choking on my own blood. How ironic.

"Out." I gurgled, struggling in his grip, which caused my head to flood with dizziness.

"I thought I warned you about that." He growled again, before throwing me to the ground as if one would throw away trash. I coughed, blood choking up and coating my hand. Tears pricked in my vision as I felt a sharp kick against my stomach. More blood crawled up my throat, making my stomach hurt with the taste and burn of thick metallic liquid.

Another kick was numb to my aching body. I saw a blurry foot coming to my face, before a flash of white and I was suddenly alone. I blinked, trying to see what was happening, when I did focus, my eyes met Jasper's. His eyes weren't that comforting honey gold anymore, they were black as coal. He was dangerously scary and gorgeously terrifying. I glanced over his shoulder to see Richard. He lay in an awkward position, arms folded behind his back and head turned too far to be natural. It wasn't his body that caught my attention though, it was his eyes. Dead and cold. Holding nothing, not even the soulless monster that once inhabited the body.

Jasper cupped my cheeks. "Hey, princess, don't look. Okay? Don't look." He whispers pulling my head against his shoulders.

"Rich- oh my god!" It was Mrs. Davis's horrified scream. Jasper stared at me.

"Jasper, don't do it." I say shaking my head, but I was turned at a speed I couldn't comprehend. Facing the wall, all I could hear was more screams, these lasted a lot less than Richard's had. When I tried to stand I cried out and Jasper's powerful hands gripped my hips.

"Shush." He whispers gently against my ear.

"Hold on." He says, lifting me up. There was blood on his shirt and faints of it on his hands. Butterflies filled my stomach as he ran out of the house at that speed I couldn't comprehend. Everything around us was a blur as he sped toward, what was most likely, his home.


	10. Chapter 10

When we arrive back at the house Jasper places me gently on the couch and that's when I realize that he's covered in blood, his shirt has this huge puddle of blood in the middle. I blinked and his family stared in shock as he flashed out of the room. Carlisle stood, but before he could get within ten feet of me to see if I was hurt or anything. Jasper was there in a new pair of jeans holding his hand up, a warning to Carlisle that said, 'go near her and I will not be able to control myself'.

I blink up at him, his entire body twitching with fury. He slips a shirt over his head, still standing, protectively, in front of me. "What happened?" Carlisle demands in a way a father would demand answers from his child.

Jasper said nothing just stared as he pulled his shirt down all of the way. His jaw grinds for a few minutes before he answers, "I killed her foster parents." He states, fists clenched and I watch his back roll with the need to hit something.

"I gathered that, how did you do it?" Carlisle asks and Jasper inhales deeply before shrugging.

A sick glint crosses his eyes when he explained. "I broke every bone in the man's body. The woman's head was ripped off." He answers, as if talking about the weather.

"Why?" I whisper and he spins around glaring down at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you not there? Because when I came in you were choking on your own damn blood and he was kicking the living shit out of you, I'm sorry I stopped _that_ from occurring, Tessa, please forgive me." He states, the sarcasm was unneeded and I pushed from the couch, getting into his face, fury in my eyes and body.

"I was there, Jasper. I'm very aware of what he was doing to me, but believe me there has been a lot worse than that. I was handling it." I hissed and he nodded, shrugging, and crossing his arms.

"Oh, yes, you were handling a grown man getting ready to kick your face in. Of course." He states like a douche. I glare. Then I fall back onto the couch, it hurt to breathe. My jaw tightened as I shut my eyes. I inhale and swallow before opening my eyes and searching the ground.

"I'm not mad that you killed them, Jasper. I sure as hell won't be missing them, but you don't need that on your conscience there was other ways of dealing with it." I ground out, he didn't need guilt over me. He stares at me.

"I got a lot on my conscience, sweetheart, that won't join it." He shrugged as if it were nothing.

"You killed two people." I say, incredulously.

"Yes and I've killed many more than that, believe me they'll just be lost in the hundreds of faces." He walks out of the room and I stare straight ahead. Growling I push from the couch and Tanya's lips part as she reaches out, but ends up saying nothing.

I find him walking toward the woods. "Jasper-." I was cut off by him turning around very fast his hand going out.

"I need to go eat something, you cannot come, go back inside and let Carlisle look at your injuries." He says and I swallow, grabbing his bicep and he turns again.

"You just don't quit, do-." I cut him off by crushing my lips to his. His mouth opens over mine on a sigh. His hands hold gently on my sides as mine grip his neck. Our mouths moved quickly and my head tilted to get a deeper angle. When his tongue slides along mine, any pain and everything else flew from my mind.

The kiss was painfully good. His lips were cold, but surprisingly soft as they ran across mine in a frenzied lust that felt as if it were a ticking bomb ready to go off. Unlike him, I needed air. I pushed on his chest, pulling my head back slightly and turning as I sucked in pants of air. His lips didn't leave my skin though and he placed open-mouthed kisses along my jaw and down my neck. I gasped in a surprised pleasure as he sucked on my pulse. He grinned against it and I shook my head.

"Smug little bas-" He cut me off by kissing me again.

"Jasper!" We broke apart and turned to see Emmett.

"Oh, uh, nothing, Esme just wants Tessa inside, she's concerned about the bruising around her neck." Emmett gives Jasper a look and I touch the skin of my throat and swallow, it's raw. Jasper glares at it and sighs before gently pulling my arm from around his neck and setting me down, carefully.

"Alright, go get patched up, little soldier. I'll be back later." He murmurs and I stare at him.

"Why do I have little attached to my nickname?" I snap and he rolls his eyes.

"Just go." He says and I smile softly.

"Okay, go get me out of your system." I tease sweetly and his eyes darken, with lust this time. Okay, I kind of like the black eyes now.

"I'll try, go." He nods toward the house and I turn holding onto my stomach that was now hurting like a bitch. God, well, at least I got to kiss him. I grin placing my fingers to my lips as I jog up the hill and into the Cullen house.

Carlisle spent so much time patching my torso that I was ready to slap him. "I know it's uncomfortable, Tessa, but necessary, I'm concerned about internal bleeding, but in all honesty it might not be that bad. We'll keep this patching around it so that the raw skin doesn't become more injured." He states, professionally and I nod, shrugging.

"That means, you have to be careful for the next couple weeks. No running, no heavy lifting, no sex." He adds casually as he stares down at his notepad. I blink innocently up at him.

"No sex?!" I exclaim and his lips twitch up.

"Fuck and I was so planning on seducing your son tonight. Dammit!" I exclaim, pouting and his lips twitch up as he nods. I smile at him.

"I'm coming to like your sarcasm." He states and I smile broadly up at him.

"Thank you." I chirp and inhale deeply.

"Um . . . Carlisle, I know that I probably should be asking a woman this, but seeing as you're the only doctor in the house, I suppose you'll do. So can I ask you something?" I say, hesitantly and he just stares at me, before glancing to the side.

"Of course." He states and I nod, swallowing.

"Okay, well I can't have children, okay?" I ask and he blinks before nodding.

"It's just something I was born with and anyways, not having eggs means that I do not have a menstrual cycle." I state staring at him to see if he was still following. He nods, waving his hand for me to continue.

"Well, I've been having blood discharge down there and um, that never happened with the Leukemia before, so." I say shifting and he blinks.

"Um, I don't know. I'm not a gynecologist, but I do have friends. I don't believe that it's a symptom of Leukemia, but I'll look into it, alright?" He asked and I nodded before sliding from the bed and walking out of the room and down the stairs. I plop down next to Bella and grin broadly up at him.

"Hi!" I chirp and she glances over at me, giving me a look.

Something on the T.V. caught my eye and I looked up seeing the heading.

 _Horrible murder and death of two locals: By beast._


End file.
